On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
