i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
