She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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