he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
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last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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