he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
