dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
