a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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