Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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