i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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