Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
