Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
