Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
