Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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