he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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