her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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