hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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