Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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