my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize