I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
