he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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