my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
