i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
