So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
