I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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