Fine. I'll sleep in my office
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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