Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
