she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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