that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
