Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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