Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We left the knife in your bed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
