Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
