Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
