Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
