I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
