i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
wow bdsm is so cute
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
