i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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