best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
