Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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