Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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