Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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