hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize