dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
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You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize