its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
