McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
