You made me cry and you don't even care
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Alive.
So much puke
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
