jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
