carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
