his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
