Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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