Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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