bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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