We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
