I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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