You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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