Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
