and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize