I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
