i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
