is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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