please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
